I'm not sure about you anymore.
Why do you call with your stories and then fade away again to remain aloof and untouchable?
Why do you do it?
We don't hear...
We don't hear from you.
There is a noise in the silence.
Contact has become easy.
Yet communication is hard.
A flurry of activity, drama.
It fades quickly.
And then the contact fizzles out.
Why do we leave it so long.
Why do we leave it at all.
Do we care.
There is a knowing.
It weaves through the mind.
A knowing that you are there.
That I am here.
Should I need you.
Should you need me.
Until that time I say farewell once more.
Perhaps this is for the last time.
Perhaps not.
Who knows.
What ever drama unfolds,
What ever destiny has before you,
I trust and hope
That you are true to yourself.
Love is patient...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
So if you are faced with unwanted, unfavorable thoughts, people, or situations always remember and say to yourself: If God Is For Us, Who Can Be Against Us?
Romans 8:28-31
I am he...
I am he who will call out to you.
Do not think that I am not here.
When I am gone I will be closer.
But I am never closer than I am now.
There is something that you should know.
Now you know.
Close your eyes and be calm.
I am with you.
Open your eyes and be free.
I can see you.
Free your heart
And I am within you.
Gentleness
I have a gentleness within me
It comes from my heart.
It is, I believe, the core of my Being.
It is always there.
Many times it is challenged.
I feel my heart harden, my mind dark.
There is a force that attempts to unsettle me.
I don't see this as a dark force
It is just the World working
To make me stronger.
Stonger that I may know the grace of gentleness
And respect it.
I have been through a darkness.
I have been through the physical experience
I have passed through the mental low.
The pain of a life not knowing
Always seeking
Unresting
Not fulfilled
Yet, graceful in gratitude
For all of lifes blessings.
In the end, now even
I feel the gentleness
It was always there
Because that is what I am.
Lunch in Marrickville
Language, strange, I don’t understand it
People talking in my mother tongue
With accents
Where am I?
Only popped in for lunch
Three choices of soup
Lentil
Is the recipe from that book I read
Big bowl
Large lunch
Will rest with me all afternoon
More strange language
Another English speaker
Greek, Italian?
Fast, garbled, unintelligible
I avoid eye contact, just
The rumble of voices from outside
Intrudes the calm of the café
I glance through the window
Men, old men, not like me
Of course
Sitting at small tables talking.
No cigarettes, no drinks, no food
Just talking
As I look the passers by catch my eye
Old Chinese women hobble up the road
Shoppers of all sorts come and go
A young woman in sari walks down the road
Where am I
Fat man at the table
Will he eat the table?
Jolly but odd
Talks to the waitress
Wants 2 minutes to decide
Then leaves
Must be time for me to go also…
People talking in my mother tongue
With accents
Where am I?
Only popped in for lunch
Three choices of soup
Lentil
Is the recipe from that book I read
Big bowl
Large lunch
Will rest with me all afternoon
More strange language
Another English speaker
Greek, Italian?
Fast, garbled, unintelligible
I avoid eye contact, just
The rumble of voices from outside
Intrudes the calm of the café
I glance through the window
Men, old men, not like me
Of course
Sitting at small tables talking.
No cigarettes, no drinks, no food
Just talking
As I look the passers by catch my eye
Old Chinese women hobble up the road
Shoppers of all sorts come and go
A young woman in sari walks down the road
Where am I
Fat man at the table
Will he eat the table?
Jolly but odd
Talks to the waitress
Wants 2 minutes to decide
Then leaves
Must be time for me to go also…
Dedication to Aunt Irene
In the first few days of May 2009 the energy withdrew from my aunt Irene and moved closer to the source.
The name Irene comes from Greek mythology and means Peace, Irene the Goddess of Peace.
The words below are my adaption of the Tim Rice classic, The Circle of Life, to which Elton John added the music.
In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith
It's the band of hope
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle, the circle of life
From the day we arrive on the planet
From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
Some say eat or be eaten
Some say eat or be eaten
Some say live and let live
But all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give
There's far too much to take in here
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high through the true blue sky
Keeps us great, keeps us small, keeps us sound
And so, some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
While some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with deep scars
Another circle of life has now passed
But it will not be her last
I have seen, in my dream
The spirit of a Queen
She is not lost
She is found
She is Irene.
Another circle of life has now passed
But it will not be her last
I have seen, in my dream
The spirit of a Queen
She is not lost
She is found
She is Irene.
I take you...
I take you by the hand
And we walk along the shore.
There is a silence that drowns out
The World.
We are in Love,
We both know it.
I don’t think that we have told
People about our Love.
We live it
Each day,
In each thought,
In each word,
In each action,
So they know it!
And we walk along the shore.
There is a silence that drowns out
The World.
We are in Love,
We both know it.
I don’t think that we have told
People about our Love.
We live it
Each day,
In each thought,
In each word,
In each action,
So they know it!
I sat in my chair
I sat in my chair the other night.
I was alone in my thoughts,
Although I wanted God with me.
My chair is comfy,
But I felt uncomfortable.
My thoughts were uncomfortable.
I was tired.
I was awake.
Frustration.
Energy withdrawn.
Cold.
Warm.
Thirsty.
Full.
Just uncomfortable.
I sat in my chair
And closed my eyes.
I thought of God and all
The spirit world.
My guardian angel,
My spirit guide.
Perhaps when I open my eyes
They will appear.
I know that they won’t.
Why do I know that?
I don’t.
I couldn’t sleep.
Worry.
Emotional pain.
Thoughts.
Is my chair magic.
No.
Perhaps I will sit somewhere else
Tomorrow.
I was alone in my thoughts,
Although I wanted God with me.
My chair is comfy,
But I felt uncomfortable.
My thoughts were uncomfortable.
I was tired.
I was awake.
Frustration.
Energy withdrawn.
Cold.
Warm.
Thirsty.
Full.
Just uncomfortable.
I sat in my chair
And closed my eyes.
I thought of God and all
The spirit world.
My guardian angel,
My spirit guide.
Perhaps when I open my eyes
They will appear.
I know that they won’t.
Why do I know that?
I don’t.
I couldn’t sleep.
Worry.
Emotional pain.
Thoughts.
Is my chair magic.
No.
Perhaps I will sit somewhere else
Tomorrow.
It seems that the older I become
It seems that the older I become
The more childlike I am.
Strange how it is that I now see that there
Is a distance between me and my youth
Why is it that I want to cry?
Why is it that I am happy to die?
Experience has benefited me none.
The Sun still keeps me warm.
I love the Sun.
I love nature.
I love its innocence.
It is undemanding.
Still, quiet.
Just being.
Let me tell you about the Lemon Tree.
It is small.
Unassuming. Beautiful.
It has a vibrant fragrance.
I look at it with love and respect.
How does such a small plant
Reveal itself in such a dynamic way?
I look at the body, the small branches.
Such green leaves, slight thorns.
The blossom no words can describe.
Tell me.
What do you know about the lemon tree?
How can it produce such a fruit?
The colour so vivid.
So acidic.
So very tasteful.
I see it grow from nothing.
How does the twig produce the lemon.
I want to know
Because this is truly a miracle.
See it grow.
Pick it without hurting the tree.
Cut the lemon, see the juice run.
Look at its insides.
Tell me, how does this grow
I want to know.
Now look at all nature and tell me how.
Of course you do not know
And yet you think you know so much!
The more childlike I am.
Strange how it is that I now see that there
Is a distance between me and my youth
Why is it that I want to cry?
Why is it that I am happy to die?
Experience has benefited me none.
The Sun still keeps me warm.
I love the Sun.
I love nature.
I love its innocence.
It is undemanding.
Still, quiet.
Just being.
Let me tell you about the Lemon Tree.
It is small.
Unassuming. Beautiful.
It has a vibrant fragrance.
I look at it with love and respect.
How does such a small plant
Reveal itself in such a dynamic way?
I look at the body, the small branches.
Such green leaves, slight thorns.
The blossom no words can describe.
Tell me.
What do you know about the lemon tree?
How can it produce such a fruit?
The colour so vivid.
So acidic.
So very tasteful.
I see it grow from nothing.
How does the twig produce the lemon.
I want to know
Because this is truly a miracle.
See it grow.
Pick it without hurting the tree.
Cut the lemon, see the juice run.
Look at its insides.
Tell me, how does this grow
I want to know.
Now look at all nature and tell me how.
Of course you do not know
And yet you think you know so much!
There is a Divide
What is it?
Distance.
What is that?
Time?
Emotion?
Feeling?
The ability to touch?
Division says “you are there, and I am here”
Is it separation?
What is that?
Oil and water?
Black from white?
My idea, your idea?
Not caring, not sharing?
Division and separation are in the mind.
They do not represent an absolute.
They represent a character.
Personality.
Individuality.
I am me.
But me is part of you.
As you are part of me.
You may hate me.
If you were the only person in the world,
How would you think?
How would you feel about it?
If after years of isolation you came across me,
Would you hide?
How would you feel inside?
Now think about division and separation again.
There is a source.
I see you in my reflections!
Distance.
What is that?
Time?
Emotion?
Feeling?
The ability to touch?
Division says “you are there, and I am here”
Is it separation?
What is that?
Oil and water?
Black from white?
My idea, your idea?
Not caring, not sharing?
Division and separation are in the mind.
They do not represent an absolute.
They represent a character.
Personality.
Individuality.
I am me.
But me is part of you.
As you are part of me.
You may hate me.
If you were the only person in the world,
How would you think?
How would you feel about it?
If after years of isolation you came across me,
Would you hide?
How would you feel inside?
Now think about division and separation again.
There is a source.
I see you in my reflections!
Welcome to my World
If you are reading this I don't know why,
If I'm not here please don't cry,
My Love for you will never die...
As you are the Sun I am the Earth.
I revolve around you and draw from you
The source of my life, my purpose.
I am the Root,
You are the Flower.
I am Funny,
You are my Bunny.
You are the Person,
I am the Shadow,
Don't get me wrong,
I tell you how to?
In our story,
You are the words,
I am the spaces.
As you are the light,
I am the dark.
I am the sea to your shore,
I need no more.
You are the Sun,
I am the sky.
You are the tears,
When I cry.
If I'm not here please don't cry,
My Love for you will never die...
As you are the Sun I am the Earth.
I revolve around you and draw from you
The source of my life, my purpose.
I am the Root,
You are the Flower.
I am Funny,
You are my Bunny.
You are the Person,
I am the Shadow,
Don't get me wrong,
I tell you how to?
In our story,
You are the words,
I am the spaces.
As you are the light,
I am the dark.
I am the sea to your shore,
I need no more.
You are the Sun,
I am the sky.
You are the tears,
When I cry.
Uncertainty
What is this thing that haunts me?
I lay wondering about the power of
What I do not know.
I work and have moments of doubt.
I sit, I stand, talk and walk.
The dark shadow will not go away.
I am destined to live a life of not knowing.
How do I know this, if I do not know.
I don’t know!
I am uncertain that anyone knows.
Or indeed, cares.
The window of my mind is not clear.
Constant wiping has only served,
To mark the clarity.
What is there? What is here?
Where am I going?
Take away my fear.
I am uncertain about my uncertainty.
I believe I am actually certain,
That I am the most certain person
I know.
Of that I am certain.
Of the extent of my certainty,
I am uncertain.
I lay wondering about the power of
What I do not know.
I work and have moments of doubt.
I sit, I stand, talk and walk.
The dark shadow will not go away.
I am destined to live a life of not knowing.
How do I know this, if I do not know.
I don’t know!
I am uncertain that anyone knows.
Or indeed, cares.
The window of my mind is not clear.
Constant wiping has only served,
To mark the clarity.
What is there? What is here?
Where am I going?
Take away my fear.
I am uncertain about my uncertainty.
I believe I am actually certain,
That I am the most certain person
I know.
Of that I am certain.
Of the extent of my certainty,
I am uncertain.
Quite Alone
Quite Alone
A house alarm sings in the distance,
At arms reach the garden chair gently rocks,
in response to the pushing wind.
The sun breathes a warm glow.
I am comforted by their company,
But, I feel quite alone.
In my loneliness I contemplate life.
My life.
All life.
My life.
Why is it like it is?
Why do I see it, like it is?
I feel positive.
But, I feel quite alone.
Am I fish out of water?
Am I really different?
Do I have it all wrong?
Do I do things against the grain?
Where is my direction?
I Have, I am a success.
But, I feel quite alone.
I kiss the trees.
I embrace the sun.
I respect the moon.
I swim in blue sky.
I dance in warm winds.
I float as in spirit.
I want to be one with the world.
But, I feel quite alone.
I live in the shadow of my other self,
Who is there?
That I don’t know.
I am together, yet not whole.
I am alive, yet suffering.
Oh Lord, guide me, breathe on me.
Oh Spirit, take my hand and lead me.
For at the moment,
I feel quite alone.
A house alarm sings in the distance,
At arms reach the garden chair gently rocks,
in response to the pushing wind.
The sun breathes a warm glow.
I am comforted by their company,
But, I feel quite alone.
In my loneliness I contemplate life.
My life.
All life.
My life.
Why is it like it is?
Why do I see it, like it is?
I feel positive.
But, I feel quite alone.
Am I fish out of water?
Am I really different?
Do I have it all wrong?
Do I do things against the grain?
Where is my direction?
I Have, I am a success.
But, I feel quite alone.
I kiss the trees.
I embrace the sun.
I respect the moon.
I swim in blue sky.
I dance in warm winds.
I float as in spirit.
I want to be one with the world.
But, I feel quite alone.
I live in the shadow of my other self,
Who is there?
That I don’t know.
I am together, yet not whole.
I am alive, yet suffering.
Oh Lord, guide me, breathe on me.
Oh Spirit, take my hand and lead me.
For at the moment,
I feel quite alone.
Sun warm on...
Sun warm on my face
The heat on my clothes.
Blue sky
Yellow Sun
The heat increases.
The heat is more than warm
But not hot.
I squint
Pen in hand
Cool, warm hands.
Umbrella shade
Cool shadow
Skin shivers in the breeze.
Life’s pleasures
Waiting.
New into spring
The transition of weather
Like mixed emotions
Yo-yo’s between
Warm and cool.
The heat on my clothes.
Blue sky
Yellow Sun
The heat increases.
The heat is more than warm
But not hot.
I squint
Pen in hand
Cool, warm hands.
Umbrella shade
Cool shadow
Skin shivers in the breeze.
Life’s pleasures
Waiting.
New into spring
The transition of weather
Like mixed emotions
Yo-yo’s between
Warm and cool.
There is a...
There is a madness in my head
I know
I put it there
It lingers
Preying on my thoughts
When I am good
I am bad
When I am glad
I am sad.
The problem is in maintaining
Balance
In order to swing one way
I swing too far and create
An imbalance the other side
Of my emotions.
Life is full of motion
Activity
Stillness of micro seconds
Change is the only constant
But what do we change to?
There is a sanity in my mind
I know
I put it there
It is permanent
Purifying my thoughts.
I know
I put it there
It lingers
Preying on my thoughts
When I am good
I am bad
When I am glad
I am sad.
The problem is in maintaining
Balance
In order to swing one way
I swing too far and create
An imbalance the other side
Of my emotions.
Life is full of motion
Activity
Stillness of micro seconds
Change is the only constant
But what do we change to?
There is a sanity in my mind
I know
I put it there
It is permanent
Purifying my thoughts.
The Face
Blemish why are you there, why make me
despair?
Red, purple, bruised.
Bruised ego, vanity in extreme.
Oh white skin in perfect form.
Purity of face and body.
Is your spirit so?
The feeble stench of a marked man.
What sin has been performed that he
should be so scarred?
What strength is sapped from this deformity?
Help me to see the beauty in this face.
Take away the inactivity.
Give me the power to see what lay behind
the distorted skin.
The volcanic face of fear accompanies my
lined face.
The eruption of small red mountains capped
by white puss, threatens.
The silent pain hidden beneath the surface.
How can I fight it?
Perhaps I cannot.
Perhaps I should not.
Beyond the simple, brutish small mound,
I can see no further.
My mind is fixated.
On the continuation of improving the
mirror image.
In time the pain and the intrusion upon
my body will go.
This is in itself a perfection.
A lesson learned that my beauty must come
from within.
despair?
Red, purple, bruised.
Bruised ego, vanity in extreme.
Oh white skin in perfect form.
Purity of face and body.
Is your spirit so?
The feeble stench of a marked man.
What sin has been performed that he
should be so scarred?
What strength is sapped from this deformity?
Help me to see the beauty in this face.
Take away the inactivity.
Give me the power to see what lay behind
the distorted skin.
The volcanic face of fear accompanies my
lined face.
The eruption of small red mountains capped
by white puss, threatens.
The silent pain hidden beneath the surface.
How can I fight it?
Perhaps I cannot.
Perhaps I should not.
Beyond the simple, brutish small mound,
I can see no further.
My mind is fixated.
On the continuation of improving the
mirror image.
In time the pain and the intrusion upon
my body will go.
This is in itself a perfection.
A lesson learned that my beauty must come
from within.
Sixteen
There is a moment when,
We all dream.
A time when things can be,
More than they seem.
Life is a story that builds,
Each day.
Bringing joy its great theme.
Within each success is failure.
And every failure is born of success.
Yet my life is tormented and serene.
I pictured you long ago,
In my heart, as a dream.
I saw you from afar,
And you were sixteen!
We all dream.
A time when things can be,
More than they seem.
Life is a story that builds,
Each day.
Bringing joy its great theme.
Within each success is failure.
And every failure is born of success.
Yet my life is tormented and serene.
I pictured you long ago,
In my heart, as a dream.
I saw you from afar,
And you were sixteen!
Wanting
Ownership of body, mind and spirit.
The mind reflects on faith.
The conscience reflects on trust.
The word is that I am killing myself.
How?
I am in love, that is, love is in me.
I do not want to own.
I do not want to want.
Confusion reigns.
If I do not own or have.
Then I cannot lose what was never mine.
How can I tell until the deed is done?
In truth I cannot.
This life is full of faith and trust.
Is the faith broken at the point of
action,
Or at the point of knowledge?
More confusion.
To be clear.
It is the application of my own
standards,
That perhaps worries me.
Should I judge another by my own
weaknesses.
Indeed I do, but I must not.
How do I not know,
If I am greater or lesser.
I am unclear.
I want, but I do not.
I know, but I do not.
I am my self, but I am not.
In order to lead others into
happiness,
Must I not rejoice.
Yet, this stress, yes stress,
Brings me to lowness.
The circle of word is in saying much
and meaning little.
It is a fear of direct knowledge of
ones thoughts.
Unconditional love is that of God’s.
In my frailty I bow down to my wants.
Am I indeed the evil that fears me so?
Do I see a picture of myself in others?
Am I to be ashamed of my own immaturity?
I have much, very much.
I want nothing.
How easy this is to write.
So difficult to feel, almost impossible
to do.
My beloved I want you for me.
I cannot say I do not want.
I want you for me alone.
Yet you must be free as a bird.
Promise, you will only fly with me,
As I only fly with you.
The mind reflects on faith.
The conscience reflects on trust.
The word is that I am killing myself.
How?
I am in love, that is, love is in me.
I do not want to own.
I do not want to want.
Confusion reigns.
If I do not own or have.
Then I cannot lose what was never mine.
How can I tell until the deed is done?
In truth I cannot.
This life is full of faith and trust.
Is the faith broken at the point of
action,
Or at the point of knowledge?
More confusion.
To be clear.
It is the application of my own
standards,
That perhaps worries me.
Should I judge another by my own
weaknesses.
Indeed I do, but I must not.
How do I not know,
If I am greater or lesser.
I am unclear.
I want, but I do not.
I know, but I do not.
I am my self, but I am not.
In order to lead others into
happiness,
Must I not rejoice.
Yet, this stress, yes stress,
Brings me to lowness.
The circle of word is in saying much
and meaning little.
It is a fear of direct knowledge of
ones thoughts.
Unconditional love is that of God’s.
In my frailty I bow down to my wants.
Am I indeed the evil that fears me so?
Do I see a picture of myself in others?
Am I to be ashamed of my own immaturity?
I have much, very much.
I want nothing.
How easy this is to write.
So difficult to feel, almost impossible
to do.
My beloved I want you for me.
I cannot say I do not want.
I want you for me alone.
Yet you must be free as a bird.
Promise, you will only fly with me,
As I only fly with you.
The Sandwich
Meat between air and road.
The flesh that hears the noise in
stereo.
The silent, calm trees, protrude the
gallant green carpet.
Their stillness belies the activity
surrounding them.
The crude tarmac with its patterned
coat of yellow and white lines.
Scar’s from the burden of carrying so much.
The artistry of rubber weaves its way,
Twisting and curving.
The vast expanse of blue sky.
Home to the tallest trees.
A channel for the simplest of breezes.
Birds glide and flutter undisturbed.
In this beauty the small dark cloud
emerges.
Moving quickly and deliberately.
In an instant destroying the calm
with it’s buzz.
A car screeches.
A motorbike roars.
A lorry rumbles.
A van rattles.
Car, after car, drones along the
quay road.
The helicopter cracks.
And whacks its rotor blade.
It fades away.
The traffic lights turn red.
Everything stops.
Except people.
The light tap of shoe on concrete
can be heard.
The quiet and distant mutter of voices
is peaceful.
It is short lived.
Lights turn green and the cycle
of noise returns.
On and on.
My ears, sandwiched between noise.
Pollution of the airwaves.
I am the meat.
The noise the bread.
The flesh that hears the noise in
stereo.
The silent, calm trees, protrude the
gallant green carpet.
Their stillness belies the activity
surrounding them.
The crude tarmac with its patterned
coat of yellow and white lines.
Scar’s from the burden of carrying so much.
The artistry of rubber weaves its way,
Twisting and curving.
The vast expanse of blue sky.
Home to the tallest trees.
A channel for the simplest of breezes.
Birds glide and flutter undisturbed.
In this beauty the small dark cloud
emerges.
Moving quickly and deliberately.
In an instant destroying the calm
with it’s buzz.
A car screeches.
A motorbike roars.
A lorry rumbles.
A van rattles.
Car, after car, drones along the
quay road.
The helicopter cracks.
And whacks its rotor blade.
It fades away.
The traffic lights turn red.
Everything stops.
Except people.
The light tap of shoe on concrete
can be heard.
The quiet and distant mutter of voices
is peaceful.
It is short lived.
Lights turn green and the cycle
of noise returns.
On and on.
My ears, sandwiched between noise.
Pollution of the airwaves.
I am the meat.
The noise the bread.
Blue is the day
Blue is the day,
yet it is happy.
The simple pleasure of being
surrounds me.
The warm sun softly floats nuggets of
brightness onto my open brow.
Blue is the day,
yet it is the sky.
The gentle, so gentle,
kiss of the breeze.
Cooling the hot white glow from
above.
Blue is the day,
yet it is the colour.
Not the feeling.
Undisturbed from clouds,
The significant Autumn sun confirms
it’s presence.
Blue is the day,
yet it has a healing power.
As the last of the seasons flowers open.
So do the smiles of those soaking up the
white globes rays.
Blue is the day,
yet it is wonderful.
yet it is happy.
The simple pleasure of being
surrounds me.
The warm sun softly floats nuggets of
brightness onto my open brow.
Blue is the day,
yet it is the sky.
The gentle, so gentle,
kiss of the breeze.
Cooling the hot white glow from
above.
Blue is the day,
yet it is the colour.
Not the feeling.
Undisturbed from clouds,
The significant Autumn sun confirms
it’s presence.
Blue is the day,
yet it has a healing power.
As the last of the seasons flowers open.
So do the smiles of those soaking up the
white globes rays.
Blue is the day,
yet it is wonderful.
Confusion
In my minds eye there is nothing.
Yet the fears are so real.
Muscle pulls from chest to stomach
The fear is entrenched deep within.
Where is the release, how does it go,
Why do I feel it?
Where is this getting me?
Turn from within and see the inside from
The outside.
Turn again and see the inside from the
inside.
Where am I now?
Side by side with fear, but there is
nothing here.
Except, there is something, what is it?
It is the fear of fear.
In its enormity it has dissolved to
nothingness.
In my minds eye there is nothing.
Yet the fears are so real.
Muscle pulls from chest to stomach
The fear is entrenched deep within.
Where is the release, how does it go,
Why do I feel it?
Where is this getting me?
Turn from within and see the inside from
The outside.
Turn again and see the inside from the
inside.
Where am I now?
Side by side with fear, but there is
nothing here.
Except, there is something, what is it?
It is the fear of fear.
In its enormity it has dissolved to
nothingness.
In my minds eye there is nothing.
Secret of the Walnut Tree
The Walnut Tree,
Bastion of the garden,
Remained silent as Dad moved rock and dirt,
Built shed’s then pulled them down.
I sat there,
Under this majestic tree,
Usually my climbing frame.
The moment was silent, well almost.
Nestled in my lap 40 years ago,
A small babe,
Pink with new life,
I held proudly.
I am quiet now,
As I reflect on this moment,
A time of innocence,
And of unknowing what lay ahead.
The madness of the world,
Has taken us to experiences,
The innocence lost,
The hurting leaving scars.
Fear eats me as I linger
On these thoughts.
Yet I know that the Love will overcome,
And I will yet again see the simple
Purity in your eyes.
For although I cannot hold you now,
We are only limited by distance and physical strength.
They are irrelevant,
Attributes of geography and body.
In truth,
Strength comes from doing what one
Believes to be right,
What one is guided to do.
The Walnut Tree,
Is still, is silent.
Holding the secret I reveal to
You now,
That I have always held you in
My arms,
To protect you,
Never letting go.
Bastion of the garden,
Remained silent as Dad moved rock and dirt,
Built shed’s then pulled them down.
I sat there,
Under this majestic tree,
Usually my climbing frame.
The moment was silent, well almost.
Nestled in my lap 40 years ago,
A small babe,
Pink with new life,
I held proudly.
I am quiet now,
As I reflect on this moment,
A time of innocence,
And of unknowing what lay ahead.
The madness of the world,
Has taken us to experiences,
The innocence lost,
The hurting leaving scars.
Fear eats me as I linger
On these thoughts.
Yet I know that the Love will overcome,
And I will yet again see the simple
Purity in your eyes.
For although I cannot hold you now,
We are only limited by distance and physical strength.
They are irrelevant,
Attributes of geography and body.
In truth,
Strength comes from doing what one
Believes to be right,
What one is guided to do.
The Walnut Tree,
Is still, is silent.
Holding the secret I reveal to
You now,
That I have always held you in
My arms,
To protect you,
Never letting go.
I wondered where God was
It seems a long time since he spoke to me.
I have been speaking to him all my life.
Now I think about it,
I don’t think I have ever heard God’s voice.
But does he still speak?
There is a loneliness in not hearing a voice.
Not witnessing a vision feels like blindness.
Sometimes I can make my skin tingle and
Feel the hairs on my body electrify.
Is that God speaking?
I expect him to appear.
I go to bed every night thinking
He may come to me.
He does not, as far as I am aware.
Yet there is something.
I have found myself asking questions.
The words why, how and when reverberate
In my mind.
I think and I sit in silence.
My mind torments itself through wild
Imaginings and for a few humble seconds
I find a kind of peace.
Lately I have been answering the questions myself.
I think it is my self.
It may be God.
It may be my madness, my reason,
Or even my sanity.
And what of the answers.
I realise with simplicity that
I hear God all the time.
His voice is ever stimulating my thoughts.
I hear him in the song of noise.
I hear him in the motion of an engine.
I hear him in the beating of my heart.
I hear him in the silence of activity.
I see God every day.
God is in the Sun, the Moon, the stars and the sky.
God is in my heart, my mind and my reason why.
God is in birds that chatter through dawn and dusk.
He, or She…maybe just God,
Is speaking loudly to me now.
Suddenly I realise I can feel God.
God is in the warmth of the Sun,
The cool of the Rain,
The embrace of the wind,
The shadow of the night,
The touch of human interaction.
The answer lay in the question.
Listening, accepting, being.
Living.
I have been speaking to him all my life.
Now I think about it,
I don’t think I have ever heard God’s voice.
But does he still speak?
There is a loneliness in not hearing a voice.
Not witnessing a vision feels like blindness.
Sometimes I can make my skin tingle and
Feel the hairs on my body electrify.
Is that God speaking?
I expect him to appear.
I go to bed every night thinking
He may come to me.
He does not, as far as I am aware.
Yet there is something.
I have found myself asking questions.
The words why, how and when reverberate
In my mind.
I think and I sit in silence.
My mind torments itself through wild
Imaginings and for a few humble seconds
I find a kind of peace.
Lately I have been answering the questions myself.
I think it is my self.
It may be God.
It may be my madness, my reason,
Or even my sanity.
And what of the answers.
I realise with simplicity that
I hear God all the time.
His voice is ever stimulating my thoughts.
I hear him in the song of noise.
I hear him in the motion of an engine.
I hear him in the beating of my heart.
I hear him in the silence of activity.
I see God every day.
God is in the Sun, the Moon, the stars and the sky.
God is in my heart, my mind and my reason why.
God is in birds that chatter through dawn and dusk.
He, or She…maybe just God,
Is speaking loudly to me now.
Suddenly I realise I can feel God.
God is in the warmth of the Sun,
The cool of the Rain,
The embrace of the wind,
The shadow of the night,
The touch of human interaction.
The answer lay in the question.
Listening, accepting, being.
Living.
For Kim and Ged on their Wedding Day
There is a place far beyond the sky,
Yet I cannot see it, no matter how hard I try.
I know I have been there,
And I have returned,
The stars have told me,
About the path that I burned.
The place I talk of belongs to us all,
The place I talk of belongs to us all,
The great, the humble, the tall and the small.
We each go there when our time has come,
But we can reach it for ever when we join as one.
There is no way that we can be torn apart,
We are in each others mind, spirit and heart.
As we journey through life and experience some pain,
As we journey through life and experience some pain,
There is a temptation to say never again.
But as we reach up to heaven above,
There is no greater power, than that of Love!
For Daisy and Poppy
Daisy sits tiny in the field,
As a summer breeze caresses her
Hair of white petals.
A golden tan springs from her face
To bring light to all around her.
Small, innocent, beautiful country flower,
Daisy sits tiny in the field.
Poppy stands tall around the field,
As the evening Sun goes down.
Strong and powerful, protecting
The One he loves.
Broad red shoulders, powerful bodyT
he big country boy.
Poppy stands tall around the field.
Love entwines Daisy and Poppy
In their new world beyond.
Once more they are together
In their field of dreams.
The beautiful Daisy.
The handsome Poppy.
In our hearts we embrace their life.
Love entwines Daisy and Poppy.
Together once again,
Free of worldly pain!
Singing in the rain
Soaking Sun from Spain
Travelling heavens train
Together once again.
Daisy sits in the field
Poppy stands tall around the field
Love entwines Daisy and Poppy.
Busy, Busy, Busy...
Busy, Busy, Busy,
Rushing around, from here to there, Busy, busy. Too much to do, so little time to do it, Busy, busy. People to see, places to go, things to do!
Rushing around, from here to there, Busy, busy. Too much to do, so little time to do it, Busy, busy. People to see, places to go, things to do!
Busy, Busy.
What do I do, how do I do it? Busy, Busy.Who do I see, where do I see them?Busy, Busy. Where is the time, how do I use it?
Busy, Busy.
Half finished phone calls, hurried emails, Busy, Busy. Cut off conversations, rushed hello's, Busy, Busy. Dash here, dash there, grab this, grab that,
Busy, Busy.
Messages on the fridge, Busy, busy. Notes in the diary, Busy, busy. Things I can't remember, pressure on mind, Busy, busy.
The door bell ring, Busy, busy. The telephone trill, Busy, busy. People, places, time, things to do,
Busy, Busy.
What is this life I lead,Tired, tired, or is life leading me? Tired, tired. How much can I give of myself? Tired, tired.
Days end, exhausted mind, Relax, relax. Evening Sun, a glass of wine, Relax, Relax. Sanity, composure, me again, Calm, calm. Create a loving mind!
It is a...
It is a good feeling
Having someone to hold.
It is a good feeling
Having someone hold me.
There is a dual sense
Of being needed
And of being wanted.
Having someone to hold.
It is a good feeling
Having someone hold me.
There is a dual sense
Of being needed
And of being wanted.
Dizzy I wander...
Dizzy I wander in a World that does not know me…
In a World that I now do not know.
Where am I going Lord?
Where have I come from?
What do I do now?
My head spins.
Into the void of not knowing I descend,
Faster,
Further,
Where will it all end?
More questions,
Doubts,
Mental shouts.
Blurred vision,
Watery eyes,
Now crying eyes,
Have I been forsaken?
Who is there to help?
Where is my angel?
Come white pure spirit to help me.
Lift me up and carry me high.
Where are you now?
Where am I?
The sky is gray
And I want to die.
Up, down, head spin around.
I walk barefoot along the road.
A lonely vision, terrorised by life.
What am I really doing here?
Who put me here?
How did I get here?
Space.
Filled.
More space.
More filling.
Help me.
I can’t keep up.
It seems so simple.
Doesn’t it always.
You find me once again.
You save me once again.
Your strength is noble.
You are my angel from God.
You are my carer.
You are my Sarah.
In a World that I now do not know.
Where am I going Lord?
Where have I come from?
What do I do now?
My head spins.
Into the void of not knowing I descend,
Faster,
Further,
Where will it all end?
More questions,
Doubts,
Mental shouts.
Blurred vision,
Watery eyes,
Now crying eyes,
Have I been forsaken?
Who is there to help?
Where is my angel?
Come white pure spirit to help me.
Lift me up and carry me high.
Where are you now?
Where am I?
The sky is gray
And I want to die.
Up, down, head spin around.
I walk barefoot along the road.
A lonely vision, terrorised by life.
What am I really doing here?
Who put me here?
How did I get here?
Space.
Filled.
More space.
More filling.
Help me.
I can’t keep up.
It seems so simple.
Doesn’t it always.
You find me once again.
You save me once again.
Your strength is noble.
You are my angel from God.
You are my carer.
You are my Sarah.
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